For all the artists who didn't.
And all the artists who did.
This HowlRound article about motherhood and theater got me thinking, about the paths not taken, about fear, about motherhood.
I think about all the things I didn't do and why not. Â Here's what I tell myself:
- In college, I gave up acting for directing because of the fear of rejection.
- I fell in love with directing.
- I needed a full time job for the benefits. The one time I went without benefits, I broke my hand. So, I got a job with benefits.
- I gave up directing because I couldn't work a full time job and direct. (Why not? Because that's what I told myself.)
- I started writing plays because they didn't require the rehearsal time commitment, but being a writer requires self-discipline. I'm good with a deadline, but not self-imposed deadlines. (Why not? Because that's what I told myself.)
- I didn't pursue theater because I may want a family and I knew I couldn't do both. (Why not? Because that's what I told myself.)
- I didn't have a family because it would mess with my theater and I knew I couldn't do both. (Why not? Because that's what I told myself.)
Am I a reliable narrator of my own life? (more…)