Wiseacres West Blog

As horrible as all the menopause terminology is, there are a couple of good names for the symptoms, like:

5. Rogue Ovulation

Is that not the best term? Watch out. Her ovaries have gone rogue, meaning there is one final egg that was a hold out, and finally gave up and dropped, causing a period. I want more cool terms like that.

But I don't want the actual experience. I'm glad I'm done.

If it happens, perhaps we could treat it like a sporting event: It's been a long stretch for Murphy, but there's been a rogue ovulation. Her huevos have rallied.

That's right. I said huevos. I'm reclaiming it for women. We're the ones with the goddamn eggs.

Renaming, Reframing & Reclaiming

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I'm part of a vibrant and vital community of menopausal women. There is no shame in menopause. It's not a dirty word. You cringe when you hear the term because society (read: cis men) has made menopause shameful. Think of menopause like reverse puberty. Don't you wish there'd been no shame, but rather joy, when you morphed into your teen body? And wouldn't you like to hug that awkward adolescent and tell them everything will be okay?

Maybe all these symptoms, or conditions, need renaming, or reframing. Can we make them all more badass, like rogue ovulation? Yes. Yes, we can.

I'm not looking for sweet words like glistening or glowing. I want worthy terminology.

6. Hot Flashes

Hot flashes have long been called a personal summer, which I like. How about Sorry. Portable sauna in progress. Or Warning, blazing outburst. The oven is ready. Be careful. You may get burned by the broiler My cousin (yes, that cousin) calls them power surges. Which might be my favorite.

7. Night sweats

Slick sleep? Saturated siesta? Sopping snooze? Fire naps? Or nocturnal blaze?

8. Vaginal dryness

Vaginal dryness is now a parched pussy, or thirsty twat, or, for the more erudite, arid quim might be more preferable.

Stay tuned for more vocabulary!

Tags: female, gender, menopausal, menopause, terminology, women

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 8th, 2021 at 9:46 pm and is filed under Gender, Menopause. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.